Tag Archives: the onion

My favorite national park

Straight from “America’s Finest News Source”:

Department Of The Exterior Opens U.S. National Park In Norway

DOE

Admission to the park is free for U.S. citizens and $15 for Norwegian tourists.

 

WASHINGTON—The U.S. Department of the Exterior announced Monday the grand opening of a new national park that covers nearly 150,000 square miles across the western portion of the Scandinavian Peninsula, making it the largest American park in northern Europe.

“We are proud to officially open the George Washington National Park, Norway, in the great American city of Brønnøysund,” Secretary of the Exterior Emmett Becker said. “From now on, this spectacular U.S. treasure will be preserved for future generations of Americans, and will no longer be vulnerable to exploitation by greedy private-sector developers, like, say, Norwegians.”

Be sure to check out the helpful brochure as well!

"Drunken moose alert in southern Norway"

OK, so this article isn’t new.  But it’s still one of the most humorous headlines I’ve ever seen.

The actual story was first published in 2002 in one of the largest papers in the country, Aftenposten.  Much like an article from the Onion, most of the humor is in the concept of the story.  Here’s a choice quote, though:

“This is the first time I have heard that moose are getting drunk. But I assume that they react the same way people do to intoxication – some become harmless while others are the exact opposite,” said district veterinarian Paul Stamberg in Kristiansand.

Nice to know that Norwegian moose behave the same way as Norwegian humans.  The real question is when the government is going to find a way to tax the moose alcohol!